Please choose an INTERPERSONAL conflict with which you are familiar. This could be a conflict between friends, family members, co-workers or other people who know each other well. (To preserve the confidentiality of the parties involved, please do not use real names.) Use the SPITCEROW conflict analysis model to analyze the structures and dynamics of the conflict you have chosen. Does the model help you to understand something you might not otherwise have recognized about this conflict?
Conflict Analysis with SPITCEROW Model
I witnessed a conflict arising between my friend David and his wife Anna over reallocating to another city. My friend David wanted to move to another city to look for a better job in the field of Computer Engineering as he thought that he is not able to save enough money for his family future. I would like to explain different aspects of the conflict with the help of SPITECROW model in the following discussion according to different stages involved in the model.
Sources of conflict and parties involved: As I have earlier said that the main source of the conflict was because of the issue of relocating to another city. David thought that he will be able to get a better job with high salary than the present job. On the other hand Anna thought that it is not worth the risk as there is no guarantee that David will get a better job. She argued that first David should apply for a job in the other city and when he gets an offer, she will happily move along with her husband.
Interests: At the front the interest seemed financial security of the family but, in my opinion this was a matter of trust between husband and wife. They were not discussing the issue in a meaningful way. David always avoided Anna when she wanted to know about the available opportunities, how they will manage life till David gets a job and so on. On the other hand David was passing through a mental stress because of financial difficulties and would blame his wife of not trusting his abilities to support the family.
Tactics: David always avoided to explain his plan, if he had any with Anna. He would argue that his wife need to just agree to what he is saying and agree to move to the other city. Anna would get frustrated and start to complain that she cannot settle in other city as she is pregnant. She stopped cooking food on time and started to watch TV most of the time. I think this is how she thought she can torture her husband and force him to agree to not move.
Change: At first both of the parties would not argue intensively and try to ignore aggressive behavior from the opposite party. But gradually the conflict got sever and they started to argue aggressively. Still they would set together to watch TV and eat on the dining table. The conflict has damaged their family environment and they are not happy. With time the gap between the husband and wife increased and the misunderstanding also increased.
Enlargement of the conflict: After a month in to the conflict, both of them stopped to talk to each other and whenever they would try to talk they ended up in a nonphysical fight. They stopped to eat with each other. They do not go out on weekends anymore. David has stopped to search for a job in the other city as he was in the beginning. He is not taking an interest in his present job. Anna also is not interested in keeping the marriage intact anymore. She is hopeless and blames her husband for all their problems.
Role of other parties: Family friends had mostly played a positive role. They have tried their best to let them resolve their issues in a positive way. Family friends have tried to work a bridge to clarify their mutual misunderstanding. Families of both David and Anna have remained at a distance from this issue they thought that both of them are adults and should resolve their domestic issues by themselves. In my opinion both of the families could have played a more active role in the present conflict. They should have come forward and helped David and Anna communicate and set together to work out a solution that is acceptable to both of them. The role of families is always important in domestic issues.
Outcome of the Conflict: There is a very bad outcome of the conflict in this case. Both David and Anna loved each other and had always remained close to each other. They have always made collective family decisions. But now they will not talk to each other at all. Their marriage is in danger. They are both depressed. David is not focusing on his current job and has been warned by hi employer to do his duties in a more efficient manner otherwise he might lose his job. Families and friend of both David and Anna are also sad and they feel helpless as they cannot do anything in this situation.
Winner: There is no winner in this case. Both David and Anna feel disturbed. Both of them blame the other of mistrust. Once a loving family may end up in a separation. I think there is always a hope and both of them can still set together and reach a solution that is acceptable to both. In this case both of them can emerge as the winner and their family can be saved.
SPITCEROW Model has helped me understand the emerging and progress of problems in our daily life. From the case that I have discussed I have come to realize that sometimes we should give space to each other and try to listen to the view point of others. As I have analyzed the case with SPICTCEROW model I have been able to know the different stages of a conflict from starting point to the point where we see no solution. I have also realized that families and friend can help in some case but might not be able to do anything in other cases. Parties involved in conflicts should always have a feeling that they are the winners. Having said that, I think we should create an environment of trust and everyone involved in a conflict should emerge a winner at the end when the conflict is resolved. I will not call a conflict resolved if it leaves one or the other party with a feeling of losing.